Yes, it’s that wonderful time of the year. The time when, due to the flip of yet another calendar page, we humans think we will start afresh. (Ok, I know … most of us actually have to hang up an entirely new calendar, but let’s just go with the flow here.)
I’m not. I started on December 27th thinking I’ll do that afresh starting thing EARLY! That’s right – early. I’ve never been early for anything in my life before, so let’s try that. Guess what. The best laid plans … (wait, how many years has that been in my first post of the year?)
So now I’m resolving … late … I feel like myself again … to never repaint another room after a child leaves home. No more. Never again. Just close that door. The room doesn’t exist. No more thinking about the wonderful adult-y things (out of the gutter, kiddies – I’m thinking OFFICE things) I can do with that room. Nope.
Good news – I think I can keep that resolution. That was the last one to finally move out. Whee! (Boo hoo!) Whee! (Boo HOO!) Note to self: change locks so they can’t get back in and hang a fake address on the door to confuse them. Muahaha! Actually, I do like my (now) adult kids. They work for food. They also work for their own rent, which keeps them out of my house and in their own. Which is why I am standing at the top of a ladder cussing like a sailor, dribbling paint down my arm.
I hate painting. Not only do I hate painting, but more than that, I hate the crap that happens because you’re painting. That doesn’t even count the part about discovering that the paint color makes you want to start painting black specks on it because all you can think of is mint chocolate chip ice cream. I like mint chocolate chip ice cream, but prefer it in my mouth and not on the wall that I was planning to appear as light sage green. Oops. And because everything is out of the room and there is new, fresh, clean paint on the wall every stinking flaw stands out like a huge pimple on Abe’s nose on Mt. Rushmore.
Like that big red Kool-aid stain on the carpet that I tried to get out and made worse. And the blinds I tried to clean but discovered I don’t even want to try to figure out what that is that is splashed across them. Fortunately, both are about 35 years old – we’re pretty sure they came original to the house. The carpet padding is essentially gone. So guess what? Now we need new carpet and blinds. (See paragraph 5, sentence 2.)
What does this mean to you? It means I’M HAVING A SALE! Take 15% off (that’s for 2015 – remember, I’m late for everything) your order totaling over $50. Use Coupon code PAINT. This sale will be good until midnight, Eastern Time, on Thursday, January 15, 2016.